From The Diary Of A Mother Of An Autistic Child

It’s World Autism Day and my mail box is filled with reports and newsletters on autism. I have received numerous press releases from organizations on what they have done to support the cause – from podcasts and symposiums to having fun-fairs at special schools, the list of autism day dos is getting longer each year. As I read through these press releases, the only question that comes to my mind is - Are we really inclusive? My soon-to-be 20-year-old’s fight against autism has been remarkable. He is entering third year of graduation at St. Xaviers College Mumbai. He is doing Information Technology and understands Coding, Python, Java, Mobile Applications, AI&ML – most of this is alien to me, gone are the days when I used to be a hands-on mom, when I knew about everything that he did in academics! His tutor, Dr Anand Upadhyay and the ubiquitous Ms Shah, his Special Educator, are bringing the best out of him. The teachers of Billabong High International Juhu nurtured him till Grade ...

  Do ‘inclusive’ Indian universities/colleges actually have the mindset and desire to include? As a journalist, I meet lot of organisations talking about including people with disabilities into their workforce. This gives me hope as a mother that my soon-to-be 18-year-old could get an opportunity to work with a leading corporate or even a new-age start-up. We have already applied to a host of universities in India which call themselves ‘inclusive’, but it makes me wonder whether Indian universities and colleges will be able to churn enough talent who are differently-abled who India Inc could hire?     Way back in 2007 when our son was three-years-old, we were running from pillar to post trying to find him a seat in a regular school. We were determined to mainstream him. While some of them politely refused an admission, the others were bold enough to admit that they were not capable of including a student on the Autism Spectrum. The only school which accepted him with ...

  The COVID-19 pandemic made home-schooling a reality. Children began to study online from the comforts of their homes. Two years later, I see parents more than willing to send their kids back to school. Six months ago, when there were talks of schools re-opening, I had seen parents opposing the idea as their children were not vaccinated. Even today, children below 15 years are yet to be vaccinated. But parents are more than willing to take the risk and send their children to school. I guess they are fed up with online schooling and so are the kids. Online schooling can obviously never substitute classroom learning. Not only has learning got impacted in the past couple of years, the children have been unable to socialise with their peer group and that has impacted their emotional well-being in many respects. However, what came to me as a surprise was parents of children with special needs telling me that they would prefer home-schooling as opposed to sending their children to a p...

How do I sensitize people to my differently-abled son? It’s a known fact that children on the autism spectrum are deprived of social skills and they often prefer a secluded life. Most children feel anxious when they are pushed into large gatherings and tend to throw tantrums. My experience with my son in large gatherings hasn’t been particularly pleasant, so we as a family prefer not to take him with us for large social gatherings. Having said that, our 17-year-old loves to socialize. He may not be best at handling crowds, but he goes out of his way to socialize one-on-one. The more I see my son’s eagerness to socialize, I tell myself, “Who says people on the Autism spectrum have social skills issues?” During the lockdown when none of us could step out of home, our young adult tried socializing virtually. He would organize video calls on birthdays of friends and cousins, create WhatsApp groups and post the Zoom link there and send constant reminders to join the virtual call. Everyo...

  It’s All About Believing That Your Child Is Absolutely Normal It’s been almost two years since I updated my blog (From the Diary of The Mother of An Autistic Child) and honestly, it’s not lethargy which took the better of me. I just didn’t have anything to share that could inspire. The COVID-19 pandemic was not just a health scare, it also led to mental health issues which turned out to be a bigger concern. It was tougher for people with special needs and for our 17-year-old who was already fighting a tough battle to get accepted by the society at large, it was nowhere close to easy. However, looking back, I must admit that our young adult has achieved significant milestones in the last two years. However trivial these achievements would sound, for him it is as good as conquering the Mount Everest. For me, it was realization that however much I was batting for mainstreaming him, I was subconsciously treating him differently. Fear had taken the better of me and I had no inkling ...

"I am just like any of you are. Why do you treat me differently?" - That's been Anshul's expression ever since he was a 4-5-year-old and realised that his peer group doesn't relate to him. He has been desperately trying to make himself accepted. In a bid to get himself noticed, he would either self-talk and tell himself that nobody wants to be friends with him or he would intimidate a child by pinching him or trying to forcibly hug him. That would be the end of a futile attempt to socialise, as the child would invariably distance himself from Anshul. The mother of the child would politely tell me that her child is not able to relate with Anshul and finds him intimidating. My easiest option of giving Anshul a peer group was to get him to play with Ayush's (my older son) friends. For them Anshul was a baby brother and they wouldn't mind Anshul's occasional punches and pinches which he would do to make his presence felt. In fact, for the longest time Ay...