I don't like to be treated differently!

"I am just like any of you are. Why do you treat me differently?" - That's been Anshul's expression ever since he was a 4-5-year-old and realised that his peer group doesn't relate to him. He has been desperately trying to make himself accepted. In a bid to get himself noticed, he would either self-talk and tell himself that nobody wants to be friends with him or he would intimidate a child by pinching him or trying to forcibly hug him. That would be the end of a futile attempt to socialise, as the child would invariably distance himself from Anshul. The mother of the child would politely tell me that her child is not able to relate with Anshul and finds him intimidating.
My easiest option of giving Anshul a peer group was to get him to play with Ayush's (my older son) friends. For them Anshul was a baby brother and they wouldn't mind Anshul's occasional punches and pinches which he would do to make his presence felt. In fact, for the longest time Ayush's friends would be invited on Anshul's birthday. 
I did do my bit by trying to organize play dates for Anshul by inviting his classmates, and I miserably failed as most times the kids didn't turn up. Both me and Anshul would be super excited when he got a one-off birthday party invitation. While most parents used to drop their kids at the party and either went shopping or to the spa for the next 2-3 hours, I used to find myself hanging around there keeping a watch on Anshul. After making two or three futile efforts of being part of the gang, Anshul would be loitering around, exploring various corners of the venue.
Lack of social skills is a characterstic of autism and Anshul has been having a tough time. Unlike most kids in the spectrum who cant socialise, Anshul has always tried to socialise but hasnt quite been able to break the ice. 
I often hear the term 'inclusion' being used in my social circles, at schools and even in the corporate sector. If I may daresay, very few actually mean to be inclusive. Anshul's school is one of the few schools in Mumbai which includes children with special needs, but I often find myself pleading with the teachers to treat him just as they would treat the other kids in their class. Anshul's teachers have been the most cooperative and I fall short of words to express my gratitude towards them, however, I have often had to remind them to not just to be inclusive in academics but also include him in other activities. 
I feel that a lot needs to be done to sensitize adults and children as to how to react to people with special needs. Schools which believe in inclusion need to draw up a sensitsation programme for not just their students but also their parents. 
I believe that lot of the not so pleasant situations Anshul or any other kid/young adult in the autism spectrum get into, is largely because the parents of his peer group are not sensitised. A close friend of mine was visiting me last year with her eight-year-old daughter. Anshul, in his bid to throw his weight around as a big-brother, started asking the eight-year-old questions from his Physics lessons! The eight-year-old playfully told him that she doesn't understand what he was saying. I salute my friend, as she managed the situation by replying to Anshul's questions and getting her daughter to understand what Anshul meant. Any other parent would have tried to keep her child away from Anshul.
At a recent social gathering, Anshul tried interacting with a bunch of kids of his age. He was in a hurry to break the ice and the kids gave him a cold shoulder. I dont blame the kids as they didnt know how to react. I had informed their parents that I would be getting Anshul. I wish they paid heed to me. The incident has left a bad taste. As a mother, I am in a dilemma. Should I take Anshul to large gatherings? Should I push him into an ocean and let him fend for himself or should I monitor him at every step?
Anshul had disappointedly shared with me that none of the boys were paying heed to what he said. I simply told him that he was the smartest and hence others couldn't understand him. Is there a better way I could have handled the situation? This question has been bothering me for over a month now. 
The take away for me from this episode is that however much I may want my child to be accepted by all, the one thing that has to be at the back of my mind is that the world at large is not sensitized to my specially abled child. I have to be careful, but I will keep trying and never give up. 
I must tell you all, Anshul the other day was asking asking Ayush if he was studying Marketing, Human Resources and Macro Economics in his BBA programme. A surprised Ayush asked him how he know about these subjects. Anshul told him that he got to know about them from our nephew, Vignesh, who is doing his MBA at XLRI. Anshul does a video call with Vignesh twice a week and Vignesh patiently talks to him despite his hectic study schedule! I cant wait for the day when Anshul will have his own peer group.